Have you ever suspected your husband is a cave man?
Guess what? He is.
But I didn't mean that just figuratively, I meant it literally. He shares many of the same brain characteristics of his more primitive ancestors.
If you take a few minutes to understand some of these characteristics you have the opportunity to use them to your advantage and live with your cave man rather than fighting him.
In cave man terms survival meant two things: Mating and providing. Having the highest number of offspring meant he would be most likely to pass his genes down to future generations. Once those offspring were born, providing them (and their mother) with adequate resources allowed them to grow to maturity.
In order to have surviving offspring a man needed to produce as many offspring as possible. Thus, men evolved to be constantly thinking about mating. They developed a desire for a mate with a healthy body shape and one where the woman had a narrow waist (meaning disease free) as well as wide hips (more likely to deliver babies), clear eyes, blemish free skin, physical symmetry.
Men also developed to desire to be the only male with access to the females. The so-called "Alpha Male" had access to the most (if not all) females in the group. The lesser males were also less likely to have as many surviving offspring so the characteristics of the alpha male became more prevalent in the group over time.So what were these characteristics?
The desire and ability to act alone, the ability to hunt (provide), a high sex drive, appreciation of what makes a woman physically desirable.
Now, stay with me as we look at the fairer of the sex.
For a female to thrive and have offspring she had to have a mate who could provide for her during the calorie expensive period of reproduction and child rearing. She had to have as few competitors as possible (meaning being the one who could consume the most resources provided by the male.) She had to develop a place to make sure her children were safe. She had to have emotional attachment to her offspring to nurture them into reproductive maturity. Sexual frequency was not as important since she only had a few days a month where she was fertile.
What, then, did females look for in a male?
Health-clear eyes, symmetry, skin tone, blemish free. Social power and the ability to provide the most resources, which usually meant physical strength and being as close to the Alpha Male figure as possible.Now for both of these ancient ancestors of ours these things were "hard wired."
Let's think about some modern day implication of these ideas:
When a man is alone and acting alone, his brain tells him he is safe. When someone or thing enters the picture his brain tells him it can become a threat.
He's pretty constantly looking for new mates-even if he's made a commitment to a single mate, he's likely to be drawn to visually appealing females (which is why your man wants to go to Hooters even when he's sworn off other chicks.)
A mate and her offspring are a drain on his resources. The best way to assure the survival of his offspring is not to focus on playing catch or Barbies, but on financial success and power.
He doesn't need a deep relationship with the mate nor the children. In fact, males who focused solely on relationship will find it difficult to provide for themselves and their offspring. Expending emotional energy is likely a negative.
When your man has a problem he is less likely to go to friends-or even his mate-to help him solve it. Alpha's didn't have that luxury. He wants to solve it himself.
At the same time he is exasperated when extra non-planned drains on resourses pop up. This runs counter to his ability to provide.How can you use this information to give you a better marriage? Well, you probably have already come up with some ideas. For more, feel free to download the rest of my book this is taken from using the link in the resource box. It's guaranteed to bring you both more happiness and fulfillment in your marriage.
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